1 : to become absorbed in thought ; esp: to turn something over in the mind meditatively and often inconclusively
2 archaic: wonder marvel
vt: to think or say reflectively ponder
— mus·er n
It sure feels good to be back on my own blog. I can’t lie though, I’m feeling very weird staring at the blank page. I know I HAVE to write something, Lord knows how many people have forgotten I even own a blog, I can’t blame them; I dare say there are times even I have forgotten. *shrug* I kinda know what I want to write about, but seeing as it’s been a LONG time since I let The Musings out I guess this post is gonna be literal in terms of what a musing is (errr, please refer to the definitions above). In other words this is going to be a post on a few random things that I need to talk about. If you were expecting a great post now would be a good time to close this page.
I had actually planned an amazing post to herald my return. Something that would let all of Blogsville know that The Board had once again resumed seating. But here’s the snag though, that’s precisely the reason I hardly put anything up. You see, ever since I got REALLY active on Twitter, whenever I get ideas or have stuff to say, I just say it there and I move on; then I would keep waiting for the right “Epic Post” to come to me so I could wow Blogsville. You shouldn’t blame me though, when you have so many awesome creative people as friends, it becomes difficult to just write something and post it up. More so go about tagging all your followers and ish. But the thing is, although I’m not exactly proud to say it, I lost track of why I opened this blog in the first place. All I wanted was somewhere to give expression to the myriad voices and personas in my head. But I got caught up in the glory of prose and comedy and all that jazz. Don’t get me wrong, I want to get better at those things, but at the end of the day they aren’t the only reason why I’m here. Which is why even though I’m putting this up, I’m not tagging anybody. Frigid fairy tale abi? Yeah.
Anyway sha, in taking a journey to the land of self-rediscovery, I’ve taken some time off Twitter. It’s afforded me the opportunity to do things I haven’t really had time for. Played my guitar, chatted with a lot more friends a lot more frequently, read more blogs; most importantly, it’s allowed me go through my posts here. There’s a saying that you can’t know where you’re going till you know where you’ve been. Going through my old posts, I asked myself a few times what I was on when I wrote some of them. It’s been good a few days in this respect. I guess knowing that I’ve written some good stuff makes me believe that I can still do that and even do better. Thankfully I have the best group of people to make sure I don’t write crap.
It’s also been a terrible period in other respects. We lost a student at school on Thursday. I’m not at liberty to give details, so all I’ll say is it was a freak incident. It’s never happened there before, and by God’s grace it never will. Needless to say, it threw a very dark and heavy cloud over EVERYBODY and everything in school. It also emphasised for me that this short “trip” I decided to take was a very timely one. As a dear friend of mine always says, “Life is too short for iranu”. More than ever, I want to live my life to the fullest. If there was ever a time the tag YOLO made sense, it’s now. I pray God rests his soul, and grants his parents, siblings, friends, and everyone who knew him the fortitude to bear this loss. Rest in peace Bernard Ogilo.
As I leave, I feel I must say this. Looking through my posts and reading the number of times I’ve said I will post more often, or that I will post on a particular topic, I feel I must apologise, cos I have been a fraud. I will not do that again. All I’ll say is we’ll see what happens. I pray I win this battle against mediocrity before it kills me. I pray I achieve the level of substance I should be walking in. And I pray I bless the people I should bless via this outlet in cyberspace. I guess that’s all for now.
Thanks for stopping by.
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