Hey guys! So it feels like forever since I posted something up. Was supposed to take a total break from Twitter and Blogtopia, but we all know that’s impossible with a “Crackberry”, especially with the kind of tweeps I have and the kind of blogs I subscribe to. And so while I didn’t post anything I’ve been consuming all that have come my way. And I’ve gotta say this…omo people dey write pieces…ahn ahn…I so wanna be like you guys when I grow up*gushes like an awe-struck teenager*.
So anyways, to mark my full return and to also celebrate my suspension from Procrastinators Unite (God please let it be an expulsion before my life is ruined totally…no jokes peeps) I’ve decided to post something I should actually have posted first, but didn’t because the election fire was burning too hot in me at the time. It’s on why I blog. It’s a little scattered and raw, but I guess that’s one of the reasons why I need to keep writing right, so I can get better? So without further ado, I shall leave you to it.
I need to talk. I don’t know what about, don’t know whom I need to tell, don’t know how I should tell what it is that I should tell to whom I should tell, but I know I have to say something before they come again. Because I know once they come this time, there’ll be no stopping them. I seem to have held them off for an eternity, but my strength is waning. For the longer I have held them off, the stronger they have become.
A pressure, a strong and steadily increasing pressure exerts itself on the walls of my head. Like the push of the water in a dam just before its boundaries burst. Like the immense build-up of a tsunami before it crashes down sweeping away all that stand in its path. And then I hear their voices. “Let us out!” they scream, “Don’t keep us locked up in here, you vile, wicked man.” I plug my ears, play music and turn the dial to the limit. Let them drown in that. But they refuse to go down. Like a cork pushed down to the bottom of a cup they shoot right back up. Only this time the screams are louder. It’s like they’ve conspired with the music. God! Why can’t they just shut up! Escape is impossible, because they follow me wherever I go. How does one run from his own thoughts?
They’re no longer only screaming now, they’re pounding as well. BOOM! BOOM! I can no longer hold them back. I’ve reached the threshold. They refuse to be held back. It is inevitable that they’ll break through. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! And then I scream “AAAAAHHH!!!” and fall to my knees. “Okay!” I yell, “I’ll let you out!” Suddenly all is quiet. The screams and pounding has stopped. But how do I do it? How do I let you all out? You’re too many, too crazy. And then I hear footsteps. I know the cadence of those footsteps. Could it be her? Should I truly believe what this sound implies? That she has returned. And then I feel her touch on my head and I look up. There she is kneeling before me, looking into my eyes. “You will write Femi. You will let them all out.” But how can I? How can I do that to them? People shall despise some of them. Some of them will be totally ignored. “That is not your concern. Yours is to do as I say. Write Femi. Write that they may find kindred souls. Write that those who need them the most may read them and receive that which their souls seek. Write that you may know the true nature of what resides in you. Write that you may reach higher than you have ever attempted. Write that you may know the limit of your ability. Write that you may be corrected. Write that you may learn. Write that you may find solace from their taunting and you may once again know peace. Not all will like them, not all will accept them, not all will acknowledge them, but that is not your concern. Concern yourself only with setting them free, for they are our children; yours and mine. And their voices must be heard.” And so I listen to her, to my muse. And then I call to them. You want freedom, you want expression, you want to take to the skies and soar, to roam the earth and seek companions? Well you’ll get your wish. You’ll get that which you have screamed for. I was wrong to have locked you up. I was afraid. I was afraid you would not be accepted. I was afraid you would be hated. I was afraid you would be ignored. But I am not afraid anymore. Let the haters come, let those who will ignore you remain indifferent. You will get your freedom, and you will find your brotherhood. For you are my musings.
Thanks for reading. And now I would love to see your comments.