So, I’ve finally been able to get off my lazy behind and work up another post (*Audience cheers*). It hasn’t been easy I assure you. You think it is beans to be a diamond card holder of Procrastinators Unite. However, I want to take the advice of a blogging egbon and try and be consistent with this thing.
But you see, the challenge of making this post wasn’t because I was simply being a procrastinator, it was about what exactly I should write on. I guess every blogger faces this particular challenge, considering the number of thoughts/ideas that go through our minds every second. Anyway sha, I was eventually able to narrow them down to two “candidates”.
The first idea that popped into my head was as a result of the post-election violence in the North. My view on that is one most people would label a “conspiracy theory” based on paranoia and an over-excited imagination. Na una sabi, I sha plan on writing a Ludlum-esque story about it. It’ll be called The Quorum (sounds cool abi…yeah I know *bows amidst the applause from the audience*).
The other idea, I got after reading a blog post with a poll on a very awkward topic and our reactions to it. This had more appeal to my inner scalliwag (*insert evil voice laughter*). So after some tweaking with my elder brother, this is what I came up with.

For the fellas:
So let’s say there’s this really fine babe (in D’Banj’s voice…Omo toh set o…toh clean o) that just started working in your office and you’ve been eyeing her gan. And circumstances put you in the same room and it just so happens that there was no one else around at that particular moment. So you walk up to her (all the moves sorted out in your head) and you say “Hello” or “Hi” (or “wassup” whichever works for you). As she looks at you, the next thing you hear is a really loud fart (you know now, those ones that sound like an okada engine). What would you do?

For the ladies:
Same situation and you’re the one that farted. What would you do?

And now…a sneak preview from “The Quorum”.

I stood in front of the window peeking through a hole in the louvers, trying to know where exactly the mob was now. Abu, Mohammed and Nasir were upstairs with the people trying to get them calm and quiet. I had led this group here immediately the crisis began, knowing that this would be the safest place in the neighbourhood. Nobody would think to check here. As the sweat trickled down, stinging my eyes and the small cuts and bruises on my body, I quickly checked that my gun was fully loaded and that I had a couple extra magazines on me, and then put it back on the window sill.
I heard footsteps and turned my head. It was only Abu coming to check on things. “How’s everything going upstairs?” I asked, “Good. Everybody is as calm as they can be, considering the circumstances.” He replied. Suddenly, I heard the sound of the mob get louder, so I turned back to look outside. I heard Abu come closer, till he was standing next to me peeking. The head of the mob had already passed the front of our gate, and the main body was moving rather quickly. In a few seconds the entire group would be gone. I heaved a sigh of relief and turned to Abu, and I
saw my gun pointing straight at me.

Aight folks, thanks for reading. Please post your comments. Arigato gozaimasu.